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Oddjack's Razz Primer

Razz: A Poker Primer:

We here at Oddjack enjoy the masochistic nature of gambling too. There’s nothing like eyeing a +425 line on the Cardinals playing in a New England blizzard with a playoff spot (for the Pats, at least) on the line and thinking “We can make how much now if Arizona wins?” Sixty minutes of football later, and we feel as punch drunk as Josh McCown’s agent after he tosses his fourth pick of the first half and gets yanked for whatever Billy Joe is backing him up. Only a sucker would have made that bet. Call us a Tootsie Roll Pop.

Poker has its own game full of hot tempers, cursing, and self-loathing. It’s called Razz.Everyone hates Razz. We hate Razz, you’ll hate Razz, poker pros hate Razz - there really are no mixed feelings about this game. It’s a constant kick in the junk, preferred only by those people who regularly call Amazon women in pleather “Mistress” for $200 an hour. Razz sucks.

But like Kevin Bacon in “Animal House,” we’ve always been the first to yell, “Thank you sir, may I have another!”

After the jump, find out why Razz is such a painful poker experience.

The 2005 WSOP Razz tourney should be wrapping up Friday, and from a field of 291 players we’ll soon see a new champion whose self-esteem has been utterly shattered and may never again belly up to a poker table in his lifetime. Bracelet and bounty be damned, this is an Iditarod of emotional destruction, a gauntlet of doubt and frustration the likes of which they’ve never imagined. They shouldn’t just get a bracelet, they should get a Purple Heart.

Now that we’ve completely sold you on Razz, we probably should tell you a little about the game. Razz is a 7-Card Stud variant that plays like no poker you’ve ever played before. Pair of Kings? Throw them away. Royal flush? Good luck cashing in with that one. Best hand possible is an A/2/3/4/5, but you’re not looking at a straight, you’re looking at a wheel, the nut low (best hand possible).

Confused? Good. Welcome to the magic of Razz.

THESE CARDS ARE CRAP…WAIT, NO THEY’RE NOT.

Just like 7-Card Stud you’re dealt two down, and one up. A round of betting commences. If you stick around to the end, you’ll see three more cards up and a final card down with betting rounds after each card. From these seven cards, you’re looking at your five lowest unique cards to make your best hand. Showing down at the end, you’ll compare your highest low card with your opponent’s, and count down from there. For example, a hand of 6/5/4/3/2 beats a hand of 7/4/3/2/A because a 6 is lower than a 7. And unlike other games that play a low pot, like Omaha-8 or 7-Stud Hi-Lo, you’re not limited to playing “Eight or better.” That means that in the split Omaha or Stud games you can’t make a low hand with a nine or ten, but you can in Razz. You could even make a low with a King high, but I’m not sure that’s ever happened before. Straights don’t matter, flushes don’t count, you’re just aiming for five unique low cards out of seven thrown your way.

Sounds easy enough, really. But hang around a Razz table for any period of time, and you’ll see the gut punches, the heartache in action.

WATCH OUT FOR FALLING BRICKS

Say you start out with the best Razz hand possible. Ace and a deuce down, and your door (up) card is a trey. Your opponents look at you with steely eyes as you raise the pot up. You’re sending the clear signal they’ll have to outdraw you badly at this point to beat you. A couple of callers, and the dealer tosses you a five. You’ve got a draw at the nuts, and raise it up again. The grizzled veterans can’t be pushed off their cards, they’ve seen this happen too many times.

Fifth street is a Queen. BRICK! That card can’t possibly help you win the hand. No matter, you’ve got two more cards to come, need a four to have a cinch hand, and maybe a six, seven, or eight could win you the pot too. Sixth street is another five! BRICK! Paired boards are the kiss of death in this game, and even though it’s low you can’t use that five twice. It’s like Fredo to Michael - completely dead to you. The seventh and final card comes around, dealt down. A King! BRICK! In the span of three cards you went from having a draw at the nuts to a Queen/5/3/2/A shot at winning the pot. Sure enough, one of the old timers across the table rolls over an 8/7/5/4/A, and you lose. Again. The magic of Razz.

THE ART OF VENTING

Just in case you’re walking unprepared into the casino, the proper way to complain about your hand is:

I start out with Ace, two, three, and catch a five on fourth street! I’m thinking I’m golden at this point and keep pumping the pot! Then? BRICK BRICK BRICK. I swear to god, I’m never playing Razz again.
Liar. Razz can actually be the cure to a rash of cold cards at the online poker rooms, especially if you haven’t seen pocket pairs playing Hold ‘Em in awhile. Grab a seat at a Razz table and just watch the pairs hit your board. We’re not claiming your cards will get any better when you return to the Hold ‘Em games, but it is nice to see a pair of Kings every once in awhile, even though they effectively neuter your hand in Razz.

TIME TO TAKE OFF THE WATER WINGS

Just a final word of advice: Never, ever yell “BRICK” at the guy in the clock tower with the high powered rifle. He has probably seen more useless Queens in his time than the clerk at a San Francisco unemployment office. For those of you looking to give Razz a try, Full Tilt Poker is the one online poker room spreading the game currently. Log in and give it a shot.